Consider Me Whipped Into Humble Submission.

I've sort of been in a foul mood these past few days.  Granted, my hormones have been out of whack thanks to The Blessings of Being Female, but nonetheless, I really have no excuse for my grouchiness.  And today, just now, God took a trip down to Earth and lashed me back into shape.  Consider me humbled. 

Earlier today I went to the grocery store and, while there, my husband texted me a few things he needed.  Well, I got about half of those things, but I forgot the rest.  When I got home, Matthew asked me where his teriyaki sauce and pencil sharpener was, and I just sort of laughed and said, "ooh... WHOOPS!"  But then he got kind of irritated with me because he really wanted chicken teriyaki for lunch, and he needed the pencil sharpener. So of course I got all bent out of shape and was all, "what do you want me to do, go BACK to the store for these two items??" When he said he wouldn't object to that, I stormed out of the house, slamming doors behind me, and sped back to the grocery store angrily.  When I got back home, I gave my husband the silent treatment while I banged around the kitchen getting the crock pot dinner ready for tonight, only casting him occasional ugly glances as he prepared his stupid Chicken Teriyaki.    

Then later on I got on my computer to catch up on blogs, and before I knew it, I had stumbled upon not one but TWO blog posts written by women who had just lost someone very dear to them.  The first blog I found through Let's Drop A Love Bomb (which is a seriously awesome website), and in this case the blogger just lost her husband in a hunting accident.  This hit me particularly hard because my husband hunts as well, and in fact, he was supposed to go hunting this very weekend but something came up.  And as I read this woman's recent posts (find her blog here) the depth of her despair struck a deep chord in me and shameful tears streamed down my face.  Then shortly after, I stopped in at Angie's blog only to find that she had just lost a brother; I read as she beautifully expressed her own deep, deep sorrow, and again, there were more shameful tears. 

I am terribly sorry that these two beautiful people and their families are suffering, but I'm not sorry that God used these tragedies to create humility in me.  I am reminded that so often I am much kinder to strangers than to the people I am closest to, which is unacceptable.  At any moment God could choose to snuff the life of someone that we love, or our own life for that matter.  And I want to make sure that, if that happens, I'm not remembered for being an irritable bitch who can't see what she has, only what she hasn't. 

I'm not sure exactly why this world operates the way it does.  I don't have everything figured out when it comes to God and religion and meaning and purpose.  But I DO think God knows that joy cannot exist without suffering, which is why he created it as such.  The two walk hand in hand - two opposite sides of the same coin. And I am grateful for extra chances to be kind.

Via