Gamescom

Given that my better half is working this week, I decided that I should entertain myself. So I took the decision to pop into Cologne, navigate the tram system, and visit the worlds largest games event, the Cologne Gamescom.

The trip into Cologne, my first major foray out into the wilds of Germany on my own, did not start entirely as planned. I had travelled roughly two hundred metres from the property when I was stopped by the police. It is, I learnt, illegal in Germany to walk across a pedestrian crossing when the light is red. I explained in the UK that it wasn’t illegal, at which the officer looked perplexed, and said that it must be. I wasn’t sure that debating the finer points of the differences in judicial systems was going to win me any prizes at this juncture, plus I was clearly in the wrong, and gave in gracefully, wondering what my fate was likely to be. After checking my driving license against a list, presumably of international drug smugglers and the like, the officer emerged from his car, returned my driving license, explained again that it was illegal in the UK to cross the road as I had, and drove off. I guess I was lucky to get away without a fine.

Run in with the police aside, it was on to Cologne and Gamescom. Now if you are a regular reader, you will know that I was once a keen gamer, back in the time when I had a house and possessions and gaming consoles and the like. I am still interested in the medium, and as it was a jolly day with nothing else to occupy me, wandering around a giant series of exhibition halls looking at what the latest in interactive entertainment had to offer seemed like a great idea.

Now then. If I was a proper journalist, I would have been intelligent and taken lots of photos to describe the experience of the three giant halls, the pumping speaker systems, the lights, the people, the games, the costumes, and so on. As it was, I forgot my camera. So you will have to put up with me trying to imagine the scenario, and some stock imagery that I will borrow from the internet.

Gamescom, I learnt quickly, is massive. There are three main exhibitor halls, playing  host to over 400 exhibitors. Pretty much every major gaming company, and a few other random hardware and software companies, turn up and put on shows designed to lure you in to their product. Most of these, obviously, were in German, so failed on me. What, therefore, were my highlights?

A few things are clearly big news in gaming at the moment. 3D is one of these things. I had a go on a few demos that used 3D vision, in a bid to enhance the gaming experience. I have to admit, I was entirely underwhelmed by the experience. First off, you have to wear 3D glasses for the effect to work - anyone without glasses will just see a messy blur on the screen. Then when you do wear the glasses, it has the side effect of darkening the whole experience. And the experience, other than the gimmick of it being in 3D, doesn’t seem to actually add anything useful to the games. Sadly Nintendo didn’t seem to be demoing the 3DS, their upcoming glasses free 3D portable device, so I can’t report back on their technology, but for me, glasses based 3D gaming isn’t a major new thing to get excited about.

The other major “innovation” at the moment is motion based gaming. Sure, Nintendo brought this to the mass market in 2006 with the Wii, but neither Sony nor Microsoft had really made any efforts to get in on this, until now. Now, Sony has it’s Move, and Microsoft has Kinect.

Move is basically just the same as the Wii, but on a Playstation. The controllers look a bit like a cross between an illuminated ice cream cone and a pulsating phallus. You look particularly stupid waving them around, and there were lots and lots of people waving them around at Gamescon, as Sony had one of the largest stands. People were playing tennis with them, flailing them wildly in some hack and slash game (where the on screen characters seemed to ignore them and get on with their own thing) and using them as guns. I was not entirely impressed that it had taken Sony four years to come up with basically the Sony Wii, but there we are. I’m sure it will sell. Probably.

Microsoft’s Kinect, on the other hand, is a much more interesting proposition in my mind. Dispensing with the “wave a wand around like a demented runway controller” ethic, it uses a clever camera system to actually track a users body motion. This opens up worlds of possibility, with dance games, rafting games (what?) and er.. other games. It’s a bit of a new concept for developers to work with, so I expect games could take a while to properly take advantage of the technology. At least you aren’t waving a purple ended dildo-a-like around though.

Away from the consoles, I didn’t see anything else that was entirely revolutionary. There were, for example, a lot of World of Warcraft clones. If you aren’t familiar with World of Warcraft, it is from a genre of game called a massively multiplayer online role playing game, or MMORPG for short. It is, as the catchy genre name would suggest, a game where you play online with millions of other players in a fantasy setting. You can role play, if you wish. It has been phenomenally successful as games go, with around 11.5 million people playing (and paying monthly) to do so. Such a player base is rather tempting to other games developers, and it was inevitable to see a lot of games which looked rather similar to Warcraft in style, if not name, being demonstrated. I suspect they will largely fall by the wayside, with the exception of the upcoming Star Wars MMO, the Old Republic, which will probably be able to leverage the Star Wars fan base sufficiently to survive. Oh, and there is a Lego based MMO, Lego Universe, about to be launched also. I have a couple of beta keys for this, if you are interested, just comment at the end and I’ll give them to er.. the first people to post. Yep.

There were a lot of other games being demonstrated, I won’t go through them all. I noticed a distinct inverse correlation between the quality of title and the number of scantily clad ladies employed to woo people in. Again, the lack of camera had it’s downside.

One of my favourite stands was from Norton who, obviously not having a game to show off, being an antivirus company, just had a bouncy castle thing. Because however hard you try, anti-virus is never going to be interesting. Whereas everyone likes a good bouncy castle.

Some people turned up dressed as their favourite gaming character. Mario was oddly  popular. This being Germany, the food was also excellent, with sausages being front and centre of the menu options. Beer was also on tap, costing for some reason the same as coke. Clearly the former was the preferred option, to help soften the giant onslaught of marketing blows that were being directed at my head.

Finally, having wandered around a lot and played a wide variety of games (I spent some time invading Nazi Germany in Ruse before it occurred to me this was probably not totally politically correct), including the excellent looking LittleBigPlanet 2, it was time to head home. Which I managed without running into the police. Success all round.

Something about gaming

I figured, as I have a moment, I would talk briefly about gaming. This has nothing to do with travel, so feel free to wander off, confused, if that is your want. On the other hand, if you’re yearning for something to pass half an hour of your life, you could do worse than getting hold of a copy of Eversion. It’s a free game that starts off in a delightfully whimsical manner, reminiscent of an old Mario game, but rapidly spiralling into a darkly disturbing beast. It’s short, will probably run on anything given it’s simplistic graphical nature, and best of all, it’s free. What more could one want.

In other gaming news that I have read this week, I am saddened to hear that the UK gaming magazine PC Zone is closing up shop this month, after 17 years. I actually subscribed to this from about it’s second or third issue (well, ok, my parents subscribed for me, but you get the idea) and loved it’s dark, irreverent and usually amusing take on gaming. It was where Charlie Brooker cut his teeth (he now writes good stuff for the Guardian), and well, everything I knew about gaming from about the age of 12 was sourced from this magazine. I guess the huge availability of online free review sites killed it off. RIP.

In not entirely game related but still on the technology page, I also see that Apple have fessed up on the iPhone 4 antenna thing. If you weren’t aware, from the last 22 days of hysterical media reports, if you hold the new shiny toy from Apple in slightly the wrong manner, the signal goes tragically out of the window. Apparently this is common with pretty much every phone, but obviously Apple took it in the throat, as flaws in their products are clearly going to spawn a media frenzy. I’m not a massive Apple fan, other than an owning an iPod Nano, but they seem to have done a pretty good job on the keeping-their-customers-happy-whilst-garnerning-loads-of-free-press front, admitting that there is a problem with antenna design, pointing out it is common across all phones, and offering everyone who has bought an iPhone a free case to resolve the problem. Sure, it’s not a fix per-se, but again, free stuff is free stuff right? Given most people will probably be buying a case to keep the shininess shiny, if it’s going to be free, well, party on.

So, that was a minor aside on some gaming / tech stuff I’ve picked up on. It may or may not have interested you. More may… or may not… follow.

Update – As per feedback, a more detailed game review of Eversion follows:

Game under review: Eversion.
Summary: A 2D side-scrolling platform game in a similar vein to the original Mario games, with a darker twist.

Cost: Free (normal version) / £3.49 (HD version on Steam)

Review: 
I played the free version of Eversion, a cutesy looking 2D platforming game. The game plot is pretty simple, (Princess is captured. you must save princess), and in order to rescue the princess you must roam across seven worlds, doing the usual gem collection, platform jumping and monster avoidance gameplay that will be familiar to anyone who has ever played any kind of side scrolling platform game.

The twist, and it's a pretty clever one, involves the use of "everting", where you change the mechanics of the level between one of seven states. This changes the behaviour of the monsters, the physicality of the blocks, and even the music - which is pretty spooky in itself. Everting is necessary to complete the game, as for example blocks which are impassable in one mode become passable in another mode. Cunning. The game starts out wonderfully twee and cutesy, with fluffy clouds and pretty plants, but it's not too long before you are being chased by walls of blood. Don't be fooled by the way it starts off, by the time you hit the third or fourth level you realise that this game is dark. The music cleverly matches the tone, becoming more and more disturbing as you progress, and the difficulty level ramps up carefully as you progress, so that by the time you reach the last two worlds, you really are having to think and react pretty quickly. It even features two different endings, depending on your prowess at gem collection.

The Good: An interesting take on the platforming genre that should pass half an hour of your life.

The Bad: Well, it is pretty short. Like this review was.

Score; 7.5/10

Oh, crikey

There are pivotal moments in a relationship. You know, the First Kiss. (And first other stuff that we won’t go into for fear of having to X-rate the blog.) The moving in together. The discussion about where the relationship is. The official confirmation of the relationship on facebook. Etc.. Lots of these are actually fun. However, today is a first that is usually not rated entirely highly as an activity, that being the first time I Meet The Parents. Capitalised, justly I feel. Naturally I am well prepared for the event. I have rolled my dreads. Topics of conversation are mentally prepared (What do you do? Not a lot. What do you intend to do with the rest of your life? As little as possible. And so on.) I can only see it going well.

That, I’m sure, is enough of a relationship update. No-one wants to read too much about this stuff I’m sure, unless it is of the going comically wrong nature. Naturally I will let you know when that happens.

I learnt yesterday that there is a giant gaming expo going on in Cologne towards the end of August, called Gamescon. As I’ve probably mentioned before, I’m quite a fan of gaming (although I have cut down my fix to the once a year review of the best games, as Chosen By Craig (tm)), so this will be a good opportunity to wander around and see all the latest developments before heading off to New Zealand for another year or so of technological hermitry. I am just making these words up folks. The spellchecker is having an apoplectic fit.

Otherwise it is back to business as usual in Germany. The sun is shining. The backgammon has been played. A giant thunderstorm nearly took the roof off yesterday. The sunflowers are flowering. The cats are slowly turning into puddles of cat fur in the heat. Summer continues to be pretty great. Enjoy! (apologies if you are reading this from the Southern Hemisphere in Winter. I can highly recommend a swallow like northerly migration.)

Backgammon

When I was growing up and living the desert island lifestyle, one of things we did during the rainy season when the hotel was closed to pass the time (there’s not a huge amount of entertainment available on a desert island in the rain) was play backgammon. It’s a classic game, what with the dice and the spikey confusing looking board and the thrill of capturing your opponents stones and the.. well.. you get the idea. Anyhow, there is a fine backgammon board here, and Vera and I have been passing some of the time recapturing the thrill of my youth with a few games. Thus far Vera seems convinced that the gods of the dice are out to get her, and the results do seem to back up her convictions. Ah well.

Speaking of Gods, dice and chance, it does seem that when I lend my support to a football team they don’t do overly well. Thus far I have supported Australia (lost 4-0 to Germany), Germany (lost 1-0 to Serbia), and England twice, who drew both times, against Algeria and the USA. Something is amiss. Sadly I can’t really bring myself to convincingly support Slovenia on Wednesday, although maybe for the sake of the nation I should seriously consider it. Still, if it all goes wrong on Monday, we can perhaps just blame the ball. That seems more likely to be the culprit than a lack of ability. Yep.

Well, that was the football. The ongoing dreadlock maintenance is still ongoing, currently seventeen left to do. The thrills and spills never end. The weather has changed from glorious European summer to actual European summer, i.e. rain and cold. This does seem to line up with the onset of Wimbledon, which starts on Monday, and Glastonbury, which is also next week. It just wouldn’t be a British summer without pictures of flooded and muddy revellers or frantic court covering action from teams of highly trained ball people. Bring it on I reckon.

Finally, our social calendar dictates that we attend a party tonight, where I have been promised that classic party dish, spaghetti bolognaise, plus the thought of beer has been wafted past my mind. I’m able to confirm, in case you were wondering, that my German is still in it’s excessively infant stage, but I can at least look happily morose at how badly the football has gone, which will no doubt cheer everyone else up. Hurrah. Keep on smiling folks, summer is nearly here!

More dread care

After nearly six months of dreadlocks, there are some more things to know about. For example, and this is perhaps not revelationary knowledge, it turns out that hair grows. Bear with me. On average, hair grows around a centimetre a month. Also, hair falls out, at a rate of around 100 hairs a day. If you are not follicularly challenged, the old hair is replaced by new growth, much in the manner of a shrubbery.

The problem with this whole set up is that the new hair doesn’t automatically know to grow itself into the dreadlocks. So you end up with dreads that are mostly made up of the old hair, with fuzzy new hair surrounding it. And after six months of new growth, the new hair is probably going to be around 6cm long. Some kind of solution is required if you want to keep the dreadlock thang going instead of the fuzzy head thing.

The answer, if you happen to have an incredibly willing girlfriend / partner / friend to hand, is to enlist their help with a needle and some sewing thread, and then literally thread the new hair into the existing dreads. Then, in my case anyway, fix it in place with a home made hair wax, courtesy of some Tasmanian bees and a dash of tea tree oil. This process, when you have seventy six dreadlocks, is not a short one. We spent pretty much all day yesterday working through my hair, and still have a fair few left to do. The price of looking like a beach bum. Yep.

So what else is happening today that isn’t fascinatingly hair related? Well, Germany and England are both partaking in their second world cup games. We watched Germany take on Serbia from the fine venue of a local pub, where I observed the nations Friday afternoon productivity take a wonderful nosedive. Sadly, the game was not as pretty a sight as watching Germany take on Australia. Trying to win a game with ten men when 1-0 down is always going to be a challenge. The Serbian keeper, who looks mysteriously like John Cusack, covered himself in glory when saving Germanys main chance at equalising with a second half penalty. In conclusion, I really need to stop supporting teams, it never ends well. So.. England later then.

In other, quite spectacularly unrelated news, the worlds largest entertainment expo is upon us, with the three major gaming manufacturers touting their wares. From what I can tell, Sony and Microsoft are desperately trying to catch up with Nintendo on the “oh my god there’s a gaming market who don’t want to take gaming too seriously” front, with all manner of interactive motion capture type devices. Expect Playstation Move and Microsoft Kinect marketing messages to be liberally thrown at you over the coming months.

Nintendo, in the meantime, not one to rest on its laurels even with the unexpected success of the Wii, are embracing the wonders of the three dimensional world with their next handheld gaming device, the Nintendo 3DS, which lets you play games in 3D without glasses. Quite how this arcane trickery is achieved is a mystery to me, but it sounds like it could be a deal breaker. Expect to see people peering mystically into these screens on the tube in early 2011

Finally, in cultural news, we took a walk around a graveyard in Bonn, where a number of luminaries are buried, including Beethoven’s dear old mum. The graveyard was, well, a graveyard. Dead people and tombstones.  However famous you are, it seems you end up pretty much the same. Awesome. Enjoy your weekends :)