76-Second Travel Show: 'Is San Francisco Better than NYC?'

Episode #028
F E A T U R I N G * 7 0 * B O N U S * S E C O N D S

Little known fact: Charlie Dickens was a travel writer. He did a romp across the US and summed up his whining take in a book (I have it, but haven't read -- I only assume he whines) called 'American Notes.' But more associate him with the head-rolling 'A Tale of Two Cities,' which opens up with Dickens' own Gettysburg Address-esque sound-byte: 'Things were pretty good, and at the same time not so good.' More or less.

The equivalent American two cities, at least on most people's travel-dream radar, are New York City and San Francisco. Huge draws for visitors, and a less-talked-about bounce between New Yorkers longing for a slower pace, coastal drives, great wine -- and some semblance of city life.

The usual routine goes -- New Yorker in late 20s, dissastisfied with career, moves to San Francisco, then guts new friends by constantly comparing things to New York. In some ways, the Ugly American gone domestic. 'This restaurant closes at 9pm -- are you serious,' said with only slight earnestness. 'This would never happen in New York.' And it wouldn't.

Most move back to New York within five to eight years. (I did.)

Sometimes I liken New York to a boss (gets things done, and sends you blissfully reeling when it, on occasion, notices you), while San Francisco is a pizza buddy (comforting, always there, great coffee and burritos, plus a 'robust' theatre organ scene featuring the priceless David Hegarty, no real risks -- other than grossness of large men at that nude beach beyond Golden Gate Bridge).

So, which is better?

New Travel Rule: No Table Butting!

You're in a self-service cafe or restaurant. It's busy. There's only a free table or two, and five or six groups in line before you. You do the damning math. Even if half are taking their bagels to go, you're out of luck if you want a seat unless another table leaves. Do you have a friend claim the table before you order? Or wait it out and see what it happens?

Of course you do the latter. Because it's the right thing to do.

Yet this simple, obvious courtesy may be the most routinely broken travel ethic on this side of complaining about ice-less Cokes in France. Many places in the world -- NOT all -- understand simple line etiquette that allows the people who queue up first get their train tickets or burgers first. But the exploited gray area is when groups divvy and conquer to get their bottoms a seat. One or two stays in line to order for all, while the rest sit at empty tables, a bit nervously on occasion, thus pushing more respectful customers ahead of them in line to eat their carrot cupcakes in the freezing sleet outside.

This, like world starvation, must change.

Recently I was in San Francisco and wandered to the ferry building facing the Bay Bridge for an egg sandwich and ice tea. And saw two groups behind me cleave and stake flags (ie a purse or jacket on the table) into the two long tables (see photo above).

Guys, we see what you're doing. You know it's kinda wrong. You know that we know you know it. And never mind that folks like me and my seven-month-old daughter were left to stand. Yes, for now, you are playing fair and square. Enjoy that flaky, oven-warm croissant.

But in the same spirit I WILL REPORT YOU until the order-then-sit 'table etiquette' is more commonly accepted.