great advice for bloggers + a few more txsc photos

Good morning everyone (or afternoon, or evening)!  This is my last Texas Style Council post before we’re back to our regularly scheduled programming. :) I have a few more photos to share, as well as a few notes I took during the panels on Sunday.  There were some great speakers, and though most of the advice I’ve already heard and processed in the past, it was all great reminders and I wanted to share it with you here! 

Some of my favorite quotes from the weekend came from Kendi, a blogger most of you have probably heard of or read, even if you’re not too involved with fashion blogs.  She was the keynote speaker before the panels on Sunday, and here are a few great lines from her speech:

On how easy it is to compare your life/clothes/husband/friends/family/house to everyone else’s:

“The danger comes when you look around and see everyone else’s best and think it’s their always.” (Jenni’s note: This is so, so, so important to grasp.  Many, if not most, of us blog a highly edited version of our lives, and we should all keep that in mind as we read and enjoy other’s blogs!)

On blogging:

“Your purpose is much bigger than your blog.  Your blog will amplify your purpose, but it is not your purpose… let your blog be what drives your purpose, not what IS your purpose.”

On the difference between being “big” and being “great,” both in regards to blogging and your life in general:

“Live a great life—not big—and be inspired to share it with others.” –All quotes above by Kendi.

On creating compelling content on your blog:

“It’s not about telling the same story that’s been told before.” –Matt, fashionweekaustin.com

On curating vs. creating your own content:

“People respond to original content.” –Camille, Camille Styles (Jenni’s note: this is one of the #1 most important things to understand if you want to grow your blog!  Curating content is gathering pictures/inspiration from around the web and compiling it on your blog, but people truly do respond best to original content, created by YOU, photographed by you, and with your own personality inserted!)

On writing in your own unique “voice”:

“If your blog title and byline were removed, and someone just read the body of your post, would they know it was from your site? Recognize your voice?”  --Caroline, Lucky Magazine (Jenni’s note: the point here was that your goal should be to write in a voice that is uniquely you and that anyone who reads you could recogize, even if all they read were your words but didn’t know where they came from!  That’s a difficult thing to achieve, but definitely worth striving for!)

Hope you enjoyed those little nuggets as much as I did.  And without further ado, here are the rest of my pictures from the weekend…

thanks again to Another Broken Egg for hosting our delicious breakfast on Sunday!

Elise, me, Maria, and Elizabeth

Lauren, Roxy, and Amy

So happy to meet Veronika!

Wore my Hunters all weekend. Yay for rain!

And that’s all folks! Happy Wednesday!

Thoughts on Texas Style Council (part 1)

Good Monday morning everyone!  I’m tired and slightly puffy-eyed this morning after a long weekend of  Texas Style Council festivities!  For those of you who aren’t familiar, TxSC is an exciting Blogger conference held right here in Austin and organized by Indiana and Elissa, two fabulous ladies I had the pleasure of meeting over the past couple of days! 

I knew I’d be slightly out of my element this weekend since my blog isn’t fashion based, but I signed up for the conference hoping to learn and network and just have a fun weekend with ladies who understand my passion for blogging.  Luckily, expectations were met, and it was a fabulous, albeit exhausting time.  I have to laugh at myself, because my major in college was Communication, social interaction concentration, and yet I find in-person social interaction to be emotionally draining and exhausting… I’d probably be OK with sleeping the entire rest of this week! But that’s the funny and awesome thing about bloggers—I think many (if not most) of us are more comfortable behind the computer screen, which is why we’re carving out a space for ourselves online! 

However, I refuse to accept my slightly anti-social tendencies, and I thought a conference like this would be a great way to get out of my comfort zone (which typically involves stretchy pants, my lambie blanket, and some degree of smelling like a dog).

It’s funny the insecurities these types of conferences can bring out in even the best of us though, isn’t it?  Everyone looked SO gorgeous and stylish this weekend, and yet I had a feeling 90% of the ladies who attended were probably nervous as hell and just hoping they measured up.  I had what I tried to consider the advantage of having nothing to prove since my blog falls very much more into the lifestyle category, but it was still a bit intimidating. I ADORE clothes and fashion, but dressing myself in a unique and fashion conscious way has never come naturally for me.  It’s something I really want to have a better handle of, and I hope that, one day, readers who comb through past outfit posts on this blog will be able to see a visible progression in my personal style.  It’s a work in progress, y’all.  If you only knew how awkward I once was and how far I’ve actually come.  If you only knew.  Do you remember this fugly picture?  Yeah.  Enough said. 

So anyway, Texas Style Council was a great experience overall, and I’ll be recapping a bit more over the next few days.  I have tons of fabulous pictures to pick through now, so please excuse me while I go do just that.  Check back soon for more fun pictures from the weekend and notes I took during yesterday’s panels (including wise words from ladies like Kendi and Camille!).

Happy Monday!

Balance. (and the TRUTH about comments)

So, I’m thinking Matthew’s post yesterday was a hit… the blog had record visits, and now Matthew is feeling very cocky and keeps mumbling to himself about being famous.  I should never have told him about the spike in my stats…

But anyway, I actually wanted to talk about something serious today. Two things have happened in the past couple of days that were sort of eye-openers for me, and so naturally I wanted to discuss them with you. 

For one thing, while Matthew was writing out his answers for yesterday’s post, I noticed he wasn’t answering any of the multiple questions on how he feels about the “Blog World” or what it’s like being married to a blogger.  I said, “babe, you should answer some of the questions about blogging!  People seem really interested in that!”

And then he told me he doesn’t want to answer those questions, because he only has negative things to say about my blogging. 

WHAT?!

I was shocked for a few minutes.  I thought maybe he would write about how it’s given me a fun hobby and part time job, how it’s given me confidence and a way to make a little money of my own, but nope.  Turns out his view on it is influenced more by the time it takes away from us, by the attention it takes away from him when I’m glued to my phone reading and replying to comments, answering tweets, posting pictures to Instagram, etc.  When I’ve managed  my time poorly so I’m still on the computer at 7:00, 8:00 o’clock sometimes, and wasting valuable time he and I should be spending together.  Sometimes blogging is like a job you never shut off, never go home from.  Or at least that’s the unhealthy way it’s been for me lately. 

I realized how unacceptable that is.

And THEN I read Elizabeth’s post last night, and it really hit home.  Like her, blogging has become more than just a fun hobby and part-time job for me—its become an addiction.  “Strangers” sometimes feel more important than my own family.  Replying to comments so that people don’t stop leaving them has become that mountain I can never quite reach the top of, and it’s starting to make me feel a little crazy. 

Let me tell you a little about how it works with comments.  When your blog is still small, it works to reply to them.  You develop relationships with people, and it’s fun, and it works. 

But as your blog continues to grow, and if you continue to attempt to reply to as many comments as possible, things get out of control.  Because when you reply to comments, those people just keep coming back and leaving them.  Naturally!  I, myself, have been thrilled to receive replies from my favorite bloggers occasionally, and it makes me want to keep leaving them—I feel heard and appreciated, and that’s a great feeling!  You feel a bit like you’ve developed a relationship with that blogger, and it’s not so one sided anymore.  I’ve always wanted every one of my readers to feel that way.

But like I said, the more comments you reply to, the more you receive, and the more impossible it becomes to reply to them all.  I always mark especially nice comments as “unread” in my inbox so I’ll remember to go back and reply to them, but since I post almost daily, those unread messages pile up and start to seem insurmountable, and then they clog up my inbox such that I become slower at responding to actual emails from people, sponsor requests, etc.   And I’ve realized I need to come up with a better system, or just “let go” a little better.  I’ve been letting go a little more lately, and though the comments on my blog have dropped some, I think it’s ok.

The truth is that when a blog’s following get’s bigger, the blogger him/herself does, indeed, start to become a little more inaccessible.  People stop leaving comments because they know they won’t get replies—they don’t feel “heard” and sometimes feel like they’re just writing into the wind.  I get that.  Even here on my own blog, only a small fraction of my readers comment.  I’m not going to lie—that makes me sad, because I love hearing from you SO much. Receiving positive or engaging comments on something I write feels like the best kind of reward and validation—it’s absolutely wonderful, and I read and appreciate each and every comment.  They are little bright spots all throughout my day as they come in, and I feel like I get to know you through them.  But what people need to understand (and, as a blog reader I came to this conclusion a while back), is that a blogger’s post is their letter to YOU; the comments are your letters back to them, and generally shouldn’t be left only in hopes of building a relationship with the blogger.  If that happens, it’s a fabulous bonus, but I have learned to lower my expectations for commenting and now try to leave thoughtful comments only as a sign of appreciation and admiration for what someone has written—never expecting a response.  If I want to reach out to a blogger a little more directly, I’ll write them an email. 

Maybe some of you will think that sounds a little cold, but I am just explaining the reality of how things are when your blog gets a bit bigger.  I like to think of myself as a pretty kind person; I hate to think of ever making someone feel “left out” or unappreciated, which is why I try to reply back or visit readers’ blogs now and then.  But I think every blogger reaches a point when they realize that it simply isn’t possible anymore, and you can’t completely avoid letting really amazing comments go unanswered sometimes.

Now, having said aaalllllllll that, I don’t think I’m quite there yet.  Since I DO treat this blog like a (really awesome) job, and since I don’t work outside the home at this point, I DO still plan to reply to comments occasionally.  But for me, the key moving forward is going to be BALANCE.  I will have a list of priorities, and it will go something like this: keeping my house clean, food in the fridge, and spending QUALITY time with my husband---->writing blog posts, answering emails--->replying to comments (and all but spending time with my husband need to be done during set hours, so they aren’t taking time away from him, friends, or other family).  Maybe that will mean picking a post every now and then and replying only to those comments, or maybe it will mean continuing to do as I’ve done and marking especially thoughtful comments as “unread” and revisiting them later (perhaps I just need to move them to another folder so they are no longer in the inbox.)

So, WHY did I write all this?  I guess I just have this strong desire for every blogger and blog reader to understand how crucial it is to have balance and to have your priorities in order, and also to understand a little better about how commenting works once a blog reaches a certain point.  I hope that you understand how very much your words mean to those bloggers whom you leave comments for—myself or any other blogger—even if they go unanswered. 

Thanks for reading my thoughts, if you made it this far.  You are so very appreciated. :)

And now, here’s a completely unrelated photo of Gracie from last night (that’s MY pillow).  One might say that she believes in balance, as well.

Did you know…? + giveaway winner!

Hey sweet friends!  I have very important matters to discuss with you today, so please take a couple minutes to read this over! :)

Many of you often leave me sweet comments, but because you don’t have certain settings in place, I’m not able to respond to you.   I occasionally reply to comments and ALWAYS try to answer questions posed in a comment, but a good number of you don’t have your email address added to your Blogger profile (if you’re a newer blogger, this probably means YOU, but some of you more seasoned bloggers have overlooked this setting as well!). 

Personally, I don’t like to respond to comments in-line (i.e. right in the comment window for everyone to see) because A) I have no idea if you’re going to come back and check to see if I responded (I know I, personally, never go back to a post to see if the blogger responded to me) and B) it just gets way too confusing replying that way!

So please consider making the changes I’m about to explain! If you don’t have your email address added to your Blogger profile, I guarantee you you’re missing out on opportunities to communicate directly with some of your favorite bloggers!  For example, I have it set to where a notification of each new comment comes directly to my email account.  For those of you with your email address added to your profile, I just hit “reply” directly from the email and type a note back to you that is sent right to YOUR email.  But if you haven’t added that setting, your comment is lumped into a group of people whom I can’t reply to without going directly to their blog (if they have one) and leaving a comment there. And unfortunately, I just don’t have time to do that anymore. I could go into all the details of why not, but I’ll spare you for now.

So, do yourself and all your bloggy friends a favor: go RIGHT NOW to your Blogger profile and check and see if you have this little link to your email beneath your profile picture.

If you don’t see that link that says “Email,” you are NOT up and running yet!  Go to your Blogger dashboard and click “edit profile” beside your little picture (if you’re using the old Blogger interface, that is—if you’re using the new interface, go to your dashboard and then click the dropdown arrow in the top right corner or your screen.  Then click edit profile).  Now check the box next to “show my email address.”

You can use any email address you’d like for this one (it doesn’t have to be the address you sign into Blogger with).

Capiche?  Please, please, pleeeease do this!  It just makes sense, and it makes replying to comments, answering questions, and maintaining relationships much more streamlined. :) And if you’re a seasoned blogger and this frustrates you as well, please spread the word and send your readers to this post so we’ll all be on the same page!

Thanks everyone!

 

PS - I accidentally deleted the random.org photo of the winner number, but it pulled comment number 60, so the winner of the Scentsy giveaway is…

Chistine!! Email me ASAP so Erin can send you your prize! :)

Blate Queens

I really didn’t know what to photograph for day 8, “technology,” so I decided to go out on a limb here and and just post pictures from yet another awesome blate* I was a part of yesterday!  Because without technology, us girls below would have never met.  And that would have just been sad.

  Sabrina, Shalyn, me, and Erica

       (dress and belt from TARGET!)

Favorite quotes of the day:

Jenni to Shalyn, who was slightly hungover: “What does it feel like to be hung over?  I’ve never been.”

Shalyn: “Oh, it’s the worst feeling in America!”

Jenni: “The worst feeling in AMERICA? Really?”

(entire table explodes into laughter)

* * *

Shalyn to server: “So the BLT… is that just bacon?”

Server: “Uh, basically it’s bacon, lettuce, and tomato.”

(again, entire table explodes into laughter)

((love you Shalyn!))

* * *

Later, as last picture above is being taken by awesome guy named James, an old man pedals by on his bike and shouts: “It’s like the Beatles, except way sexier!”   :P

* * *

Sabrina flew down from Washington and Erica from Boston, and they’re both staying with Shalyn.  I think that is just the coolest thing EVER, and a testament to the strong relationships that can be built through the amazing technology that is blogging. 

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!

*blate = blog or blogger date, coined by Megan :)

Happy birthday, little blog.

Today is my little baby blog’s 1 year birthday.

 photo from Sweetapolita (recipe there too!)

Yep, one year ago today I sat down and tapped out Story of My Life’s very first post (it’s really dumb… you probably shouldn’t read it), and though I’d kept a few other blogs before this one, for some reason I stuck with it this time.

Before one year ago, I was often plagued with writer’s block or simply didn’t have the time to devote to blogging.  I loved to write, but I wasn’t content with my very small audience of, oh, my mom and grandma.  To be honest with you, I wanted to reach more than just a handful of family members and friends.  Isn’t that most writers’ greatest dream, anyway?  To be read?

And so I started commenting on other blogs, hoping to make some friendships.  And when people moseyed on over here and left me nice comments saying they enjoyed something I wrote, it lit a fire under my butt.  And from then on, I never really had serious writer’s block again (besides a few patches of it here and there, which is normal). 

I started to look at the world around me through different eyes.  Why should I EVER have nothing to write about?  Life is so full of adventure and useful lessons you might share with others.  And if your life DOESN’T seem to be very interesting or “full of adventure?”  Well then you go out and make shit happen.  Oddly, this silly little blog has been a major motivating factor for me, to get out of my comfort zone and do things.  Experience things.  Learn things.  Or at least look at the every day happenings of my life in a new light.   Because life itself, in its purest form—in the day to day things we do that may not be particularly riveting—it’s all still beautiful, and it’s what unites us.  Blogging, and reading about the lives and thoughts of others, helps you feel so much less alone.  Like we’re all in this together. 

There have certainly been times when I’ve questioned whether continuing this blog is the right thing.   I’ve asked myself if having a large following is really what I want.  It’s always been important to me to reply to comments and connect with readers, but it’s becoming more and more impossible, and I hate that. 

There have been times when I’ve received such ugly comments that I questioned whether or not I have thick enough skin to allow myself to be a target here, to be vulnerable to what anyone and everyone has to say about me.

But I’ve decided that it’s all worth it.  It’s all a big crazy learning process, and I will have to tweak things in the coming year to manage my time better, but right now it doesn’t make sense to give up on something that brings me so much joy.  And when I receive your emails and comments?  Even if I don’t reply to the comments every time?  They still mean an incredible lot to me.  They’re like fuel for the fire, and remind me why I love blogging so much. 

So thank you to those of you who’ve been with me from the start, and thank you to all of you who’ve come on board along the way.  The last year has been amazing, and you know what?  I have this funny little feeling that the coming year will be even better.

Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.- Sylvia Plath

Love at first blate.

Day 3 of the photo challenge is supposed to be clouds, but we Austinites haven’t seen a cloud in days unless you count all the smoke from fires around the city!  It’s been scary y’all.  Thankfully our home isn’t too close to the fires, but we can still see and smell the smoke.  Do a little rain dance for us, will you?

So I guess I’ll skip cloud day and just tell you about the two amazing ladies I met up with for lunch today!  Yes, I had myself another “blate,” and it was amazing.  I swear, people you meet on the Internet are the best. Blogging is like Match.com, except for friendships… if you love the way a person seems on their blog and in emails, etc, chances are very good that person will be just as cool or cooler in person!

I finally met up with the lovely Shalyn from The Nelson Diaries—a blate that has been a long time coming—and Kelly, who doesn’t have a blog you can go stalk (yet), so you’ll just have to take my word for it that she’s the sweetest!

We met at Wahoo’s Fish Tacos, and I brought cupcakes.  Because honestly, there should really be cupcakes present at every blate.  New rule?

Sidenote: I seriously felt like I was in the presence of two living, breathing Barbie Dolls today.  It was awesome.

 Kelly and Shalyn

Me and Kelly

Gorg.

Awwww….

LOVE THIS.

Shalyn, you make me smile!!

   

Don’t you wanna come hang out with us?! 

Happy Wednesday everybody!!

Ruminations on blogs, bloggers, blogging, and blates.

While Matthew and I were on our South America trip a couple months ago, I was asked many times the dreaded “what do YOU do?” question.

I know people are just trying to make conversation, so I don’t hold it against them, but it always makes me a little squirmy to explain that I’m not working right now, despite being educated and perfectly capable of working.  Pretty much the most interesting thing about me is that I have a blog with a somewhat substantial following, so that topic tends to come up in conversations. 

And it is just so darn funny to see the wide range of reactions from people when I tell them about my blog or blogging in general.  I’ll never forget the reaction of one middle-aged gentleman who sat with us at lunch one day on the trip.  His doctor-girlfriend asked me what I do, so I started rambling about not exactly working, though my blog is like a part time job and earns me a tiny (*TINY*) bit of income.

I’ll never forget the look on this guy’s face when I described my blog to him.  His eyes were as wide as pancakes and his jaw just about hit the floor.  His reaction actually sort of startled me!  He was just so shocked that anyone would post photos and personal information about themselves and their lives on the Internet, and he started grilling me about the safety of it all and blah blah blah… it was quite funny.

The thing is, many people just don’t understand what blogging is all about and its potential to entertain, to educate, to generate a little income, to bring people together, and to change lives.  I really believe in this medium, and I will defend it ‘til the end.

I am so fascinated by blogging and the relationships we forge over the Internet.  I really and truly believe that one day it won’t even seem strange to people.  I just met another blogger friend for coffee this morning, and she and I joked about how blogging is kind of like match.com, but for friendships.  The nice thing is, you don’t have to worry about your new friends trying to get in your pants on the first date—or ever (hopefully?).

My experience so far has been that bloggers are just real people, and their blogs are a pretty accurate representation of who they are in “real” life.  Because the Internet, to me, is just an extension of real life.  In fact, it’s more “real” than some of the relationships we deal in every day of our lives! 

So that’s that.  Blogging is awesome.  Bloggers rock.  I will never be ashamed to tell someone I blog somewhat “professionally” (or that’s my goal, at least),  because I have met some truly wonderful people in doing so and have become inspired to be the best version of myself, both personally and professionally, thanks to this wonderful little world on the Internet.

So with that, I leave you with a few pictures from my latest “blate,” with the seriously sweet and BEAUTIFUL Rachel from Guide to Menhattan.  This chick grew up in Austin, lives in NYC, and is about to move to Berlin for a few months.  Drives my point home that bloggers are real and cool and LEGIT.  They just happen to write all about it to “strangers” on the Internet. :)

 

  

Look, Lassie!!  (Actually, his name was Bennett. And he was awesome.)

Doesn’t her smile make YOU want to smile?

Anyway. Happy Hump Day!  Hope all you awesome bloggers and readers of blogs are having a wonderful week! :)

Thoughts.

I always wonder what it is that draws people in to a blog.  Inspirational images?  Humor?  Compelling stories?

For me, it just comes right down to being nosey.  I like to read about other people’s lives, and I’m most attracted to blogs in which you really get to know the blogger.  Blogs in which you feel like a fly on the wall of that person’s existence.  Of course, the story-telling has to be done well in order for it be interesting, and great pictures are essential (in my humble opinion), but yes.  Lifestyle blogs are what appeals most to me. 

The neat thing is, “lifestyle” is such an all-encompassing word.  A person’s lifestyle includes their family, their home, their hobbies, their vices, and their overall outlook and feeling about life.  I don’t think I could ever have a “niche” blog.  I don’t have THAT much to say about any one topic.  But do I have a little bit to say about a lot?  Well, if you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know that to be the case. :)

We’ve been having lovely weather here in Texas lately, and I’ve been taking Gracie and Cooper for a lot of walks.  Strolling through my neighborhood, it always amazes me how many completely separate lives are lived in such close proximity to one another. Within each home is a family, with a family dynamic.  With struggles, with pains, with joy, with drama, with work schedules, with skeletons in their closets…  And I always wonder, when I pass a home: who lives there?  Just steps away from where I live? 

But I think that’s exactly why I love to read blogs so much.  Because I get a little glimpse inside other people’s homes and lives.  I get to celebrate when they celebrate and learn from their struggles.  Blogging makes the world seem a little less huge and scary… and kind of makes you feel like we’re all in this together. 

And since this post is a whole lot of blah blah blah, here are a few pictures from my phone – all little scenes from around my house. 

     

Oops.  They’re kind of all of Gracie and Cooper. 

But anyway.  I’m curious.  Why do YOU read blogs?  What is it that stands out to you about a blog and makes you want to follow?

I’d love to hear your opinions!

P.S.  Did you enter the Foley + Corinna giveaway yet?!  It’s kind of a good one.  And all you need is an email address for your shot at winning the purdiest handbag maybe ever.  Get on that. ;)