This blew me away.

Source: fab.com via Jenni on Pinterest

 

My girl Sarah posted a version of this the other day, and it blew me away.  I feel like I am THERE.  In that gap—photography, writing… hell, even in my my efforts as a WIFE.  I found this SO encouraging.  Like, wow wow wow. YES.  I hope some of you find it encouraging too.  Happy Friday!

Ramblings on Age and Beauty. (RIP Elizabeth)

Aging terrifies me. 

I know that it’s a part of life, and wrinkles are a sign of life well lived and blah blah blah, but all those reassurances are kind of lost on me.  Aging and the passage of time still worries the crap out of me.  Why does everything have to deteriorate and… die? 

I was genuinely sad to hear of Elizabeth Taylor’s passing yesterday.  I sifted through some hauntingly beautiful images of her, and I might have shed a tear or two.

The thing is, Elizabeth didn’t really age all that gracefully. Maybe she was just eccentric, but to an outsider looking in, it would seem she clung desperately to the beauty of her youth ‘til the day she died, and I sometimes wonder how much of her identity she drew from the woman she no longer really was. Not that she ever stopped being Elizabeth Taylor or an icon, but as we age, we grow… different. Just a thought.  I don’t claim to know a thing about her, and I’m referring only to her outward appearance.  She seemed to be a really wonderful person and humanitarian, regardless.

I think we have to continuously reinvent ourselves in this life.  We should learn from the person we once were, but never let that person fully define us. 

A few months back I told my mom that I don’t feel my age – that I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I’m 24 already when it seems like just yesterday I was still a teenager.  Then my mom told me that she doesn’t feel her age either, but a combination of all the ages she’s ever been.  I thought that was interesting. 

I guess I just want to age gracefully.  There will probably be many moments of crisis when I find a new age spot or a new wrinkle or when my neck skin starts getting all loose and I end up needing that saggy-chin-skin surgery (have you seen that commercial?!), but most importantly, I want to be beautiful, in the most appropriate way, regardless of my age.  And I don’t just mean physical beauty.  Age will rob us all of that, so we really should make sure there’s some substance beneath it all.  Yes?

Sorry for the randomness of this post.  I’m just thinkin’ out loud.

Overachiever.

Look at me – two blog posts in one day!  How awesome.  Or annoying, depending on how you look at it. 

Anyhoo, I just wanted to let you know I’m also elsewhere on the Interwebs at the moment. 

My insanely sweet and absurdly beautiful friend Sarah from Fairy Tales are True offered me the opportunity to guest post on her amazing blog, so you can find me over there today.  Talking about fairy tales.  Appropriate, yes?

 

Check it.

And then stalk Sarah’s blog.   You will drool over her photographs. And maybe even her. In a non-lesbian way, of course. I promise, you will adore her.

PS – If you missed this morning’s Blogging Tips & Tricks post, click HERE!

New Year’s Resolutions and How To Bloody Keep Them.

The Blog World is all a-buzz with talk of New Year’s resolutions, goals, and great aspirations for 2011… the excitement and hopefulness is almost palpable and certainly contagious, and as I read through many of your blogs on hopes and dreams for the new year, I felt I should share a few of my own!  But rather than just list my goals, I’d also like to share a few of my strategies for KEEPING those infamous resolutions we all seem to have abandoned come, oh, FEBRUARY. 

Point in case: 

We regular semi-regular gym goers know how the attendance at said establishment literally BLOWS UP just after Christmas and January 1st.  You can spot the New Year’s Resolutioners from a MILE AWAY, as they are either 300 plus pounds, wearing jeans and a button down on the treadmill, fumbling awkwardly with the machines, or some combination thereof. 

Here’s a couple of my tweets from a particularly amusing/terrifying experience at the gym the other day:

And if you aren’t following me on Twitter, you probably should be.

But my point is, this guy was NOT a regular.  And there is nothing wrong with that, except that so few of these folks who resolve to get in shape for the new year ever DO become regulars.  Inevitably, gym attendance tapers off over the weeks and months after the first of the year, and we all settle back into our lackadaisical lifestyles of despondency and guilt. 

Or maybe that’s just me.

But anyway, this year, I am determined not to let this happen.  And I have a plan.  But first of all, my major resolutions are as follows:

1. Set aside time each morning for prayer and meditation, even if it’s just 10 or 15 minutes. 

2. Plan out each week’s chores beforehand, and then actually DO THEM (rather than getting behind, stressing, hating myself, then doing everything at once and becoming exhausted and angry).

3. Go to the gym a minimum of 3 times per week.

4. Make my own money via freelance writing jobs and/or (fingers crossed) THIS BLOG.

However, I am realistic when it comes to these goals.  I know they are not going to achieve themselves, and they are certainly not going to get done by simply being spoken of. 

We must have a plan for achieving our resolutions, my friends.  And it must take place on a much smaller scale.  Namely, a daily and weekly scale.  And it has to be thought out, written out, struggled over, and built into a system of accountability and reward. 

Enter the one dollar Target monthly desk planner:

I have big plans for this baby. 

Basically, I am tracking my daily goals on this calendar, and I feel that it could be helpful no matter what your resolutions.  It’s a way to remind yourself of actions you can perform daily to help achieve your goals.   I, personally, will use my desk calendar to plan the necessary household chores, errands, appointments, gym visits, etc that I get so behind on, and I’m trying to be extremely realistic in doing so.  In other words, don’t cram each day full of to-dos that will never get to-done, thus causing guilt and a sense of discouragement and failure.

• DO plan one week at a time, and adjust the next week if something isn’t working for you. 
• And also, DO plan rewards for yourself when you reach certain milestones, whether it be a piece of dark chocolate at the end of a successful day, or a manicure and pedicure at the end of a successful month. If you’re anything like me, you don’t work for free.  I’m like the little mouse chasing the little piece of cheese tied to a fishing pole tied to its back.  If I have a reward in sight, I’ll do crazy things to get to it! 

This planner/desk calendar method can work for less tangible goals, as well.  For example, if you have resolved to be kinder and less impatient with your significant other, add “kindness” or “patience” or “bite my tongue” in with the rest of your daily reminders like “go to the gym” or “mop the floors.”  Look at your planner or calendar each morning, and occasionally throughout the day, if you can! 

Just create a system that works for you.

I have recently realized that I have no excuse not to change the things I dislike about myself and my routines.  Change probably won’t come easy or quick; like they say, “if you walked twenty miles into the forest, don’t expect to get back out in three.” 

But I have resolved to pray daily for the WILLINGNESS to change, and sometimes even for the willingness just to be willing. 

What are YOUR strategies for keeping your New Year’s resolutions?  I would love to hear them!

Consider Me Whipped Into Humble Submission.

I've sort of been in a foul mood these past few days.  Granted, my hormones have been out of whack thanks to The Blessings of Being Female, but nonetheless, I really have no excuse for my grouchiness.  And today, just now, God took a trip down to Earth and lashed me back into shape.  Consider me humbled. 

Earlier today I went to the grocery store and, while there, my husband texted me a few things he needed.  Well, I got about half of those things, but I forgot the rest.  When I got home, Matthew asked me where his teriyaki sauce and pencil sharpener was, and I just sort of laughed and said, "ooh... WHOOPS!"  But then he got kind of irritated with me because he really wanted chicken teriyaki for lunch, and he needed the pencil sharpener. So of course I got all bent out of shape and was all, "what do you want me to do, go BACK to the store for these two items??" When he said he wouldn't object to that, I stormed out of the house, slamming doors behind me, and sped back to the grocery store angrily.  When I got back home, I gave my husband the silent treatment while I banged around the kitchen getting the crock pot dinner ready for tonight, only casting him occasional ugly glances as he prepared his stupid Chicken Teriyaki.    

Then later on I got on my computer to catch up on blogs, and before I knew it, I had stumbled upon not one but TWO blog posts written by women who had just lost someone very dear to them.  The first blog I found through Let's Drop A Love Bomb (which is a seriously awesome website), and in this case the blogger just lost her husband in a hunting accident.  This hit me particularly hard because my husband hunts as well, and in fact, he was supposed to go hunting this very weekend but something came up.  And as I read this woman's recent posts (find her blog here) the depth of her despair struck a deep chord in me and shameful tears streamed down my face.  Then shortly after, I stopped in at Angie's blog only to find that she had just lost a brother; I read as she beautifully expressed her own deep, deep sorrow, and again, there were more shameful tears. 

I am terribly sorry that these two beautiful people and their families are suffering, but I'm not sorry that God used these tragedies to create humility in me.  I am reminded that so often I am much kinder to strangers than to the people I am closest to, which is unacceptable.  At any moment God could choose to snuff the life of someone that we love, or our own life for that matter.  And I want to make sure that, if that happens, I'm not remembered for being an irritable bitch who can't see what she has, only what she hasn't. 

I'm not sure exactly why this world operates the way it does.  I don't have everything figured out when it comes to God and religion and meaning and purpose.  But I DO think God knows that joy cannot exist without suffering, which is why he created it as such.  The two walk hand in hand - two opposite sides of the same coin. And I am grateful for extra chances to be kind.

Via

Why I'm So Glad It's Now and Not Then (Thankful Thursday)



via



via

 This time last year I was a hot mess.  It was my last (and hardest) semester before graduation, I was planning my wedding, searching for a new house, and the holidays were looming: not exactly a time in life I look back on with much fondness.  To be honest with you, I do NOT handle stress well - if my plate gets too full, I just want to (and sometimes DO) curl up in a ball and scream and cry and pretend like I have no responsibilities and no pressures and no deadlines.  I really try to minimize stress in my life, because I'm just not cut out to handle it well.  Stress starts to take a toll on your body in sometimes very unexpected ways - for example, this time last year, as stress for me was at it's peak, I had a horrible, disgusting, unbearably itchy rash all over my hands and part of my arms.  I kid you not, y'all, I looked like a leper whose rotting flesh might fall off at any given moment.  (You're welcome for that visual)

It was awesome.  I even had the rash on my wedding day.  Even awesomer.  

But that was just a season.  A tiny little blip on the radar of my life, which has now passed over and on to better things.  All through college, I never really got to enjoy the holidays. I SO wanted to - I wanted to do the holiday baking and really enjoy the decorating, and I wanted to send out Christmas cards and get all my shopping done BEFORE the week before Christmas, but alas: that was NEVER the case.  I was too busy being a giant freaked out stress ball to EVER really enjoy the holiday season. 

And this year, I am just so utterly grateful that, for the first time in 5 years, I am truly able to be QUIET inside and meditate on the beauty that is to come - to find true peace and joy in this season, to really ENJOY decking the halls and baking the goodies and shopping for gifts for my loved ones. 

So that is what I'm thankful for - I'm thankful for the seasons of our lives, just like the seasons of this Earth.  Because there would be no brisk and lovely autumn days without long and sweltering summer ones... no sunny, breezy spring without a cold and dreary winter. 

If you're in a sad or lonely or hard season of your life, remember that it is just a season, and "this too shall pass."  As human beings, our lives are not stagnant; they are not static - we are dynamic, moving, changing individuals, and where you are now will not be where you are in six months or a year or five years.  Be thankful for that fact.... I know I am. 



via

 And just on a side note, I want to thank YOU - the wonderful people who read this blog.  You really and truly have no idea how much I adore all your funny, sweet, and encouraging comments, and how thankful I am just for the TIME it takes you to read what I have to say.  That means so, so much to me.  I really do my best to visit those of you who have blogs when I can, and it has been so fun getting to know you.  I really and truly hope each one of my readers and friends has an amazing Thanksgiving week, and I can't wait to hear all about it!

This weekend I have friends staying over whom I haven't seen in almost a decade, and I also have a wedding to attend... so things might be a little quiet around here for the next few days, but be sure and come back Monday when I'll be debuting my brand spankin cute new blog design!!! Yippeeeee!

Have a wonderful, beautiful Thursday...

J

Did You Wake Up Healthy This Morning? Ok Then. (Thankful Thursday)

It's kind of a running joke around here that I have to be bleeding from my eyeballs before I'll actually go in and see a doctor.  Sometimes I'll complain about this or that and my husband or a friend will ask "well did you make an appointment?" and that's usually when I back away and my eyes glaze over and I shake my head "nu-uh." 

No doctors.  Me no like doctors.  Doctors scary.  Hospitals icky.  I fine. 

Perhaps I'm afraid of running into HIM.

Or perhaps not.  Because I LOVE him.

Anyway, I get really bad migraines anywhere from 0 to 4 times per month, and I've been out of my prescription migraine meds for over a year now.  Most people would make an appointment weeks or even months before they run out, but not I.  Somehow the suffering is justifiable if I do not have to go to the dreaded doctor.  Which is completely ridiculous, and I recognize that, but it's some sort of mental blockage in my brain. 

So last week, after I had three migraines within days of each other, Matthew finally got sick of hearing me complain and just made me an appointment himself with the doctor we'd been referred to by my stepdad.  Before he made the call, my only request was that the appointment be for some time the following week - so I would have time to come up with an excuse to not go mentally and emotionally prepare myself.  But what did Matthew do?  He made an appointment for the very next day. 

I shrieked and moaned and stamped my feet and said I refused to go, but he wouldn't have any of it.  He said I was going even if he had to tie me up and drag me there, and he would absolutely-not-reschedule-it because he knew it would only give me time to come up with a reason to cancel. Uggghhh. 

So I went.

And as I sat in the waiting room with my husband, I looked around and drank in my surroundings (being careful not to touch anything lest I contract streptococcus or something equally vile).  I always get a little nervous at the doctor, even if it's just for a silly routine appointment, and as I sat there dejectedly eyeing the room around me, I suddenly had a bit of an "ah-ha" humility moment. 

Here's where I get to the point.  So my stepfather, Edd, has cancer.  Cancer of a very bad and ugly kind, and doctors say his condition is chronic and he'll have to be on chemo for the rest of his life.   And as I sat there in that waiting room, staring at the same walls that Edd probably saw many times throughout his life, I became very, very humble.  There I was, heart beating a little faster than it should, nervous about seeing the doctor for my very non-life-threatening migraines.   And I realized how very much we healthy people take for granted every single moment of our lives.  Especially peace of mind.  The knowledge that there is very likely not a deadly disease ravaging our insides, threatening our very lives and stealing away our ability to wake up to wellness and a functionally performing body each morning. 

And I felt quietly overwhelmed by this realization.  And like I said, humbled.  And thankful for a body that is currently functioning as it should, even though I know that will likely not last forever. 

So that is what my Thankful Thursday is about this week.  Just health and life and hope.  It's hard to be mindful of your blessings every single moment, and it really is the truth that we often don't truly miss something until we no longer have it.  But on this Thursday, and every day, really, try to just be ever so grateful if your body is performing as it was intended to.  Take a mental inventory of your functions and faculties, and thank the Heavens for them all. 

Have a happy, thankful Thursday...

J

P.S. - If you're the praying type, will you pray for my stepdad, Edd?  Just pray that the cancer will be completely banished from his body.  I'd sure appreciate it. :)

What Are YOU Waiting For?

Just after setting the timer on my coffeepot and just before crawling into bed last night, I pulled the window to my back patio door wide open and breathed in a few deep gulps of the crisp night air.  It seemed so much cleaner and sweeter than normal, and as I took the time to simply breathe in that chilly, oxygen-rich air, I suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion.  Really, it hit me like a brick wall and, before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face.  Tears of gratitude, tears of love, and even tears of sadness as I felt keenly aware of the fragility of this life. 

It's funny how sometimes we have moments like that - moments where suddenly we feel so painfully aware of all the love and joy and even suffering of this world. 

I have these moments often lately - probably because I'm transitioning slowly from the person I once was to the person I am now, and as pieces of my prior self die, I feel a lovely jumbled mess of intertwining sadness and gratefulness.  Sadness only because it's impossible to erase the feelings I once felt, and gratefulness because all of the waiting, waiting, WAITING is over.  Mostly.  (Does it ever REALLY end?)

Via

I know that many of my new friends who read this blog are in a period of waiting, themselves, so I wanted to offer up a little encouragement to you...

All of my "adult" life up until this point I have felt like I was waiting and yearning for something.  In high school, I wanted desperately to be graduated and in college.  I stared at the clock through every class and simply could not wait to go home, or to work, or to be anywhere but there.  In college, I counted down the years and months and days til I received my degree and could be done with THAT scene, too.  It felt like the day would never come.  During my last year in college, I met my husband and, as we carried out a long distance relationship for a year, I counted down every day til I would see him again; and when we visited each other, I counted down the hours til we'd be apart. Then I waited for graduation. Then I waited for my last day of waiting tables. Then I waited for our wedding.  Then I waited for our renovation to be complete. 

And now I find myself in a new place.  No longer waiting.  Of course, there's always little things to count down to, but at this point, I seem to have finally escaped those places in my life where I simply did not want to be.  I'm finally where I belong, and it is such a perfectly peaceful and simultaneously terrifying place to find myself!  When all of that busyness and waiting subsides, you have a lot more time to think about what you want your life to mean.  And I realize that many, or even most people don't find themselves at this point as young as I have, but we are all on our individual journey and it doesn't matter what pace you travel, as long as you are moving. 

But anyway.  For all of you who are in similar periods of waiting as I was, I want to tell you this:

Sometimes, for a while, you have to live like most won't in order to have what most never will.  Few people are willing to sacrifice today for the person they will be tomorrow.  Later, you will thank your younger self for having the patience to wait. 

Sometimes, for a while, you'll feel lonely and afraid of what the future holds.  But never settle for second best because you're afraid you'll never find what you'd love most.  You WILL find it, but...

Be aware every moment of what you are beckoning into your life through your every thought and action.  The law of attraction is very, very real, and very, very simple. 

Read this book.  It's all about the Law of Attraction,

and it changed my life.

Don't compare your life to others'.  Just don't.  Learn from their mistakes, garner pieces of their wisdom, gain inspiration from their triumphs, but don't compare.  Just do the very best you can with what you have. 

And while you're waiting, don't forget to see the beauty that IS all around you. 

Via

Now go and have a lovely day!!! :)

J

The First Anniversary Of The Worst Day Of My Life

October 29th exactly one year ago will live forever infamous in my mind as the period of 24 hours during which I was dangerously on the verge of a nervous breakdown, a panic attack, and an aneurysm all rolled into one.  I almost had a relapse when I started to see these come out this year:

Let me back up. 

I am a control freak.  I don't play all that well with other children.  I like things done my way (because, obviously, it is the best way).  And when I am placed into a situation where I must work closely with others and share in decision-making with them, I get a little antsy.  In fact, antsy might not be the best descriptor there.  But let's just leave it at that.

So anyway, last Fall, during my final semester before graduation, I was enrolled in a course called Small Group Communication.  Almost the entire premise of the course involved working within a group of the same 6 students to plan and implement a fundraising event. None of us had any idea just how much work and stress this would entail; me especially.  It ended up being one of the hardest things I've ever done, and that career in event planning I had considered?  No way, Jose.  That dream was shot right out of the water once I realized how much I despise working with... well... people. 

Kidding! Sort of.  But let's just say that myself and one or two of my group members seriously butt heads, and because I so desperately wanted needed an A in the class to maintain the perfect GPA I planned to graduate with, there was a lot of "we-will-do-this-my-way-because-I-always-get-A's-and-so-help-me-God-if-I-get-a-B-because-you're-an-idiot."

So, we worked extremely hard all semester (a few of us did, anyway - isn't that always the way it works in groups?  A few do the bulk of the work while the others coast?).  Anyway.  I'm not bitter.  We worked extremely hard to make our event come to being, and on October 29, 2009, it did.  Not without incident, but it did.

Here are a few pictures from the day:

You get the picture. 

It was a pumpkin carving thing, and it ended up being pretty successful.  All the pumpkins, snacks, and beverages were donated beforehand, and we made a considerable profit.  Naturally, I wrote most of our group's final paper describing the entire process, and after the final exam, I felt extremely confident that I would get my A and that the GPA-I-worked-so-hard-for would remain unharmed.  It was one or two of my other classes I was a little worried about - NOT this one.

I remember like it were yesterday when it came time for grades to be posted.  I had just gotten off work on a busy Friday night, and I plopped down in front of my computer anxiously.  I logged into my school account, saw that grades were up, and scanned the page. A!.... A!.... A!....

B in Small Group Communication??????!!!!! Hooooooowwwwwwwww???!!!!!

I cried huge, hot alligator tears for AT LEAST an hour that night and all throughout the weekend.  I screamed into my pillow.  I cursed that wretched class and all the wretched people in it, and I cursed myself for falling short of my goal after working so hard for so long.  Y'all I FREAKED OUT.

And I refused to go to my graduation primarily because of it.  Because I knew my diploma wouldn't read "Summa Cum Laude" like I had planned for it to.

And I knooow most students would be thrilled with graduating Magna, but that is not the point here.  In my mind (then anyway), I was a failure.  And I didn't forgive myself for a long time.

So what is my point here?  Not to brag about having a good GPA, I assure you.  My point is that sometimes we create such impossibly high standards for ourselves that we live our lives constantly feeling like we've failed.  Constantly feeling like we don't measure up. 

But my question for you is: MEASURE UP TO WHAT?  Who are we competing with???  It's natural and GOOD to want to succeed and to want to do the best you can.  But if you fall short of your goal and your whole identity comes crashing down around you, you have to ask yourself why your priorities allow no room for error and growth and HUMANITY. 

Perfection does not exist.  It is an unachievable goal.  But balance?  That is something worth fighting for.  And you know what they say... (cheesy and cliche as it may be, there is some truth to it...)

So THIS October 29th?  I'll be enjoying a wonderful "date night" with my husband... carving a pumpkin, roasting the seeds, enjoying a delightful dinner.  The past is the past, and we are not our failures.  We can learn from them, we can always improve and grow because of them, but every day we choose what to believe about ourselves.    

Believe that you're "among the stars," and have a beautiful weekend!!

J 

List of Ten Tuesday! Beautiful is......

Another week has come and gone, and it's that time again! Time for.... 

*For you bloggers who have come on board recently (and, of course, if you've been on board since the start!), I invite you to make your very own List of Ten today! Feel free to use the fun cupcake picture, and link to your post in the comments below!  If you want to read more about the rules for List of Ten Tuesday, click here or here!  But in summary?  There are NO rules.  :)

I was going to go a certain direction with my list this week, but earlier today, as I was digging through my old "memory box" and perusing some of my old writings, I found something that threw a wrench in my whole plan.  

It was THIS poem, written at age 11 (by me):

 
Which reads (and I changed the last name cause I don't need any weirdos looking me up):

"No one will ever like me!"

Said Jenni Doe one day

When my hair finally does look right

For certain it won't stay that way!

My glasses take  up half my face

My pimples own the other space

My bangs do never stay in place

"No one will ever like me!"

One ear is bigger than the other

"You're beautiful!" says lying mother

I know I'm not,

It's clear to spot,

"No one will ever like me!"

BAHHHHhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!  I was almost in tears when I found this poem.  HuuuuuhhhLARIOUS!!!!  The piece is dated May 23, 1998 - I was eleven, and clearly had some self-image issues. 

But when I really think honestly about it, I realize that me and that 11-year-old girl still have a lot in common. I may have contacts now, the pimples have calmed down considerably, and I've learned to manage my hair and accept my ear situation, BUT, and this is a big but: sometimes I still feel like that same, crazy-insecure girl.  Sure I feel attractive with a full face of makeup, a stylish outfit on, and a miracle-performing push-up bra, but when I'm stripped of all that?  Often all I see are imperfections.  Often all I feel is inadequate.  Even though I'm married (so clearly someone likes me!) and my husband makes it obvious that he adores me, I still sometimes wonder if maybe he compares me to other women whom I'd never measure up to.  But mainly I think it's just me comparing me to them.

And really?  It's ridiculous. 

But unfortunately, us girls are subjected to messages all. day. long. about what beautiful is, about what constitutes perfection, and, subliminally, about how we are inadequate.   

And it's unacceptable.

Certainly, movie stars, models, and entertainers are often beautiful.  They tend to represent society's (current) standard for beauty and perfection, and naturally so.  People are fascinated by beauty, by symmetry, by striking features. 

(Leave it to Victoria's Secret to make us all feel like dogs)

But at the end of the day, you have to be able to realize that what you see on those gorgeous models and perfect movie stars and amazing entertainers is only outward beauty - magnified by a slew of professionals and validated by our collective culture.  In the real world?  A lot more constitutes being truly beautiful - on the outside, sure, but more importantly, on the inside.  And interestingly, inner beauty always translates into outward beauty.  But the reverse is almost never the case. 

So without further adieu, I give you my list. 

Of Ten Ok, Seven Things That Beautiful Is.... 

(and I sure don't claim to have mastered these yet!)

Beautiful Is...

1. A Smile

Smiling may be the single most important thing you can do to be more beautiful.  Not only that, smiling is a way to communicate non-verbally.  It's a way to put people at ease around you, to set a mood, to put forth positive energy into the universe (then watch as it comes back to you in unexpected ways). 

While in high school and college, I supported myself by waiting tables.  I'll never forget one day I was at work and a woman came up to me when she was leaving the restaurant and said "my son (who she had been eating with) thinks your very beautiful, but you should really smile more!" 

I wanted to say she can tell her son to F off cause I smile ALL the time, but I probably just mumbled something like "oh, thanks, I'll work on that."  The truth was that I was just concentrating really hard since we were busy, and I hadn't had much reason to smile during the maybe 45 minutes the woman and her son were there.  But I never forgot what she said.  And I DID make a point to smile more.  You just never know who might be watching you!

So don't be a sour puss.  SMILE!!! 

At the cab driver, at the grocery story clerk, at a random stranger walking past you on the street.  Just smile. :)

Beautiful Is...

2.  Confidence

A confident woman (or man) is 10 times more attractive than one who is not.  The first step to feeling and being beautiful is feeling and being confident.  The only one who needs to be convinced you're beautiful is you.  Once you start acting and feeling the part, the attention you get from your spouse, your friends, even strangers, will astound you!

Please advise: confidence and cockiness are two different things.  Don't be obnoxious.

Beautiful is...

3.  Kindness

In order to be truly beautiful, you must first be kind.

Care about others. 

Show active interest in others. 

Listen. 

Cry with someone. 

Never stop scheming up ways to make others feel happy and special. 

Send text messages or emails for no reason.

Give of yourself. 

Pay compliments to stangers and friends alike. 

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, or if you want to take it a step further, do unto others as THEY would have you do unto to them.  This requires a little more thinking and emotional intelligence.

Beautiful is...

4. Taking Care of Yourself

Notice I didn't say killing yourself at the gym in order to achieve a perfect 10 body and satisfy someone somewhere's ideal for physical fitness. 

Just take care of yourself.  If you feel unhealthy, maybe you are.  Do your best to pinpoint your weaknesses and your unhealthy habits, and then do your best to address them, whatever that means for you. 

Exercise when you can. 

Eat healthy as often as possible (it may always be a struggle).

 Paint your toenails. 

Wear pretty smelling lotion to bed. 

Just take care of yourself.

Beautiful is...

5. Modesty

Yes, modesty. 

Somewhere along the line women must have fallen for the lie that the tighter your clothing and the more skin you show,  the more beautiful you are.  That is simply not the case.  Leave something to the imagination, ladies. 

The way you present yourself is directly proportional to the type of attention you will receive. 

I assure you, there is a happy medium somewhere between burka-wearing and shorts so short we can actually see the bottom of your asscheeks.

Be classy.  It shows pride.

Beautiful is...

6. Education

You don't even have to go to college to be an educated, intelligent individual. 

Read books.

Watch the news.

Learn about cultures other than your own.

Have an open mind.

You don't have to be a geeky academic type to be educated and have a beautiful mind.  Don't be the type whose beauty flies out the window as soon as she opens her mouth.  ;)

 

And finally, beautiful is...

7. Having Character

You don't hear much about "character" anymore.

Other names character goes by?

Integrity, virtue, honor.

Basically, having character involves just being a nice person. 

Don't be a liar.  Don't be fake.  Don't be mean-spirited. Don't be passive aggressive. (women NEVER are, right?)

We ALL make mistakes from time to time, but having character involves owning up to those mistakes and being (wo)man enough to make a wrong situation right.

Anyone want to elaborate on this list?   What do YOU think beautiful is?  What is my list missing?

Have a beautiful Tuesday. :)

J

Reality Check - Please Take A Couple Short Moments To Read This.

While surfing other blogs this morning, I came across a story that literally broke my heart and sent every single thing in my life spinning back into perspective. 

I found a blog dedicated to a woman named Leslie Joy Evans whose twins died after she gave birth to them at only 21 weeks.  Leslie was able to meet both babies (though the first was stillborn), but shortly afterwards she went into cardiac arrest (heart attack). She was revived, but passed away on October 7th.  Her husband's first wife died of breast cancer three years ago, and he has three young children from that marriage.  I can't even begin to grasp the magnitude of his pain. 

Leslie was incredibly beautiful, incredibly loved, a talented singer, a wonderful mother to her husband's children, and just wanted to experience pregnancy and raising a baby of her own. And yet God took her.  I simply cannot understand the reasons why - why anyone should have to experience what her husband, family, and friends must be going through right now.  But I know that if nothing like this ever happened, we would all continue to plunge deeper into the depths of our self-centeredness, self-pity, and preoccupation with me and my problems and my feelings.  Talk about putting things into perspective.

What RIGHT do we have to be anything but joyful??   What right do we have to give anything but thanks?? 

Do you have your health (i.e. are you not dead yet)?   

Do you have each other?  

Do you have the hope that in the next moments, in the next hours, in the next days, you can make a better life for yourself, reconcile with someone you hurt, say "I love you" to someone who may have forgotten? 

Then you have everything you could need. 

I don't know why Leslie had to die, but let's not let it be in vain.  Her life was a testament, her death is a lesson for us all.

http://lesliejoyevans.blogspot.com/

Who Am I To Be Brilliant, Gorgeous, Talented, And Fabulous?

Last night I stopped by Em=Me and was moved almost to tears by the quote in Emily's latest post.  By how profoundly truthful it is.  We are sometimes so afraid to do what we know is right, to really let our light shine, because sometimes that light exposes the darkness in others and makes them uncomfortable.   We ask ourselves, who am I to be the one who is different?  The one to rise above the crowd?  How will I be perceived? 

And I really feel the answer is in the quote below.  Who are you NOT to rise above?  Who are you NOT to be the very best version of yourself that you can be?  Who are you NOT to let your light shine brightly in a sometimes dark world?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

 

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

 

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

 

-Marianne Williamson

Today, be liberated.  And give others permission to be the same.

J