The Top 19 -acations Are All I Ever Wanted

The 'staycation'? The idea of taking trips to nearby state parks, or seeing your hometown as a destination? It's all good. It has a point. 'Travel' isn't about distance between A and B.

I GET IT.

I'm all about the two-day trip, or trying to see your hometown as a destination. Travel can rejuvenate our dulled curiosity lobes. When I come back home from a trip, I often notice things I normally miss: like roofing details, the color of tree bark, little statues, people on the stoops -- some I even say 'hi' to. That's good.

But do we have to call it a 'staycation?' It just bugs me as a nomenclaturatory device.

So I'll up the ante:

ACHEYBREAKATIONS Trips to the Grand Ole Opry, or roadtripping with Reba. Or staying at home on a staycation and learning the triple two step:



ANDALE-CATIONS Hurry hurry hurry: ten countries in ten days. Preferably in Latin America.
BRAYCATIONS (See Neighcations, add donkey.)
CLAYCATIONS To make pots, or go to group screenings of Ghost. Or if you find weird pots in your 1870s Iowa home and make a website about it.
DAYCATIONS One-day trips. North Californians are particularly good at this -- going up to Muir Woods for the day from San Francisco. It's possible anywhere, of course. Kansas Citians can drive through the Flint Hills, Pittsburghniks can see the first oil well in Titusville. New Yorkers can take the 10-minute cable car to Roosevelt Island, perhaps to do weird things.
EQUIVOCATIONS Lie travel. Going for a three-day trip to Niagara Falls and buying matching t-shirts for your nephew and niece but saying you're going to Jersey to meet Dmitry's new flame Ingrid and to dig for clams.
FEYCATIONS On the Shakespeare trail. (Buy your outfits here.)
FRAYCATIONS One rule about fraycations: never talk about fraycations.
DEAFACATIONS Travel without an iPod.
DRECATIONS Hip-hop travel.
GAYCATIONS Gay travel, or excessively happy.
HEY!CATIONS The only means of correspondence are short interjectory expressions: hey!, ouch!, golly!, sacre bleu!, or is!that!a!donut shop!?
KEVINBACATIONS Skipping the d'Orsay and hitting the nightclubs, and going hog wild like the dancin' farmers in Footloose.
(And is it just me, or is Kenny Loggins going wine on us, and sounding better as time passes since his beardful soundtracks were first released?)

MAYCATIONS Trips in May -- too bad, just missed the chance for a Top 10 list on Maycations.
NEIGHCATIONS Trips to horse races, shows and horse rides. Boots'n'All came up with this list. I add Yakutsk (where horse is eaten) and North Dakota's 96-mile Maah Daah Hey Trail through badlands in Theo Roosevelt National Park.
PRAYCATIONS Going to meditate with monks in Thailand, or with or without monks to Oral Roberts University in Tulsa to pray or pretend to pray in the unreal Jetsons-meets-Jesus Prayer Tower. Then having a curry.


SHEACATIONS These ceased to exist last year. (See future entry for CitiFieldcations.)
SLAYCATIONS Trips to summer heavy metal shows, like Rocklahoma in Pryor (this July: the still-religious Stryper!) or Kavarma, Bulgaria: the heavy metal capital of the world (or at least the only city that remembers Uriah Heep).
TRES-CATIONS Extreme travel - dog sledding, bungee jumps -- but in Quebec.

Bonus points for whoever comes up with an entry for 'Veighcation' first.