Oh, that husband of mine. He is a wonderful guy, but sometimes I really do wonder what goes on in that brain of his! I'm going to have to delay the posting on what-I've-learned-about-how-not-to-live-in-squalor, because the following is SO much funner to write and read about. Yes, funner.
So, last night Matthew went to a "wild game" dinner and auction with his dad, and at around 9:00 PM I get a call from him saying he's on his way home..... and also that he has a "surprise" for me. Well, I generally like surprises, so my interest was peaked. Except that when I asked what kind of surprise it was, he replied with, "the kind that requires a lot of work!"
Ummm, what? I didn't like the sound of that.
Ummm, what? I didn't like the sound of that.
THIS, was my surprise:
No, your eyes do not deceive you. That is a real life puppy. A 7 week old Golden Retriever puppy, to be exact. Now those of you who know me well already know why this is all kinds of wrong. First of all, I've always said that my next dog will be from a shelter. Second of all, it will not have long hair. We have dark hardwood floors and the vacuuming required to keep them looking clean is the proverbial "thorn in my side" with two SHORT-HAIRED dogs. Thirdly and by far most importantly, Gracie and Cooper. Need I say more? They are the sweetest animals I think that ever lived, but when it comes to small dogs or other animals, they pretty much want to rip them in half. Which they actually came pretty close to doing with a squirrel they caught. Remember Nutkins?
Lets have a moment of silence.
Ok, back now. So, a puppy? And Gracie and Cooper? Hmm. Clearly not much thinking went into this decision. And of course, the puppy was ADORABLE. PROBABLY the cutest thing I've ever seen, EVER. He was a precious little clumsy ball of fluffy fur and puppy breath. I loved him the second I buried my face in his silky-soft puppy fuzz, and I named him Finley and imagined that we would have many lovely years together.
But of course, that was VERY short-lived. Let's just say introductions didn't go so well. To the tune of lots of drippy-drool and chops-licking on the part of G & C, and even a lunge hear and there. Basically, they thought he was a late-night snack. Poor, poor Finley baby. And poor, poor Matthew. He kept saying, "What have I done? What have I DONE? " and "Oh God.... what have I done???" and "Well, at least in all our months of marriage so far, this is the worst thing I've done!" He's SO funny. My poor husband has had a stressful week and what does he do? NOT go get drunk or go to strip clubs... he just buys a puppy. I love him so much, and how can you be mad at that?
But we knew we couldn't keep the little dear, so we put an ad up on Craig's List and within ten minutes we got a call. The woman had a 2 year old Golden already, and her kids really wanted another one. So, the little guy spent just one night on the couch with Matthew, and I slept in the bedroom with Gracie and Cooper. Who were very restless due to the squirrel out in the living room with Daddy. Or I assume that's what they thought.
Below is a shot of Gracie and Cooper this morning - Finley was in the crate and they would not take their eyes off him. What you DON'T see is the puddle of drool in front of their faces. Why would they be salivating unless they wanted to take a big fat bite out of the baby? Good heavens, I don't know. Nor do I want to find out for sure. Finley needs a home where he does not have to wake up each morning and ask himself "Is this the day that I will be eaten?"
So the choice was clear, and we dropped Finley off with his new owner this morning. Here he is on the ride there:
So precious. I truly hope he went to a good home.
And one more thing. Overnight and this morning, Matthew got many calls and emails about the puppy, but one by far takes the cake. You see, in our ad, Matthew wrote that bringing the puppy home was a "newly-married mistake" since he didn't consult me first and also because our dogs don't take well to other dogs (which is putting it pretty mildly). Below is a copy of an email Matthew received in reply to the ad. He thought it was hilarious and was perfectly content to shrug it off and ignore it, but I, OF COURSE, reacted quite rationally by spewing expletives and demanding that a reply be made to defend my honor. In the end, I wrote the reply myself, and just signed Matthew's name to it. The part I wrote back about compassion might be a LITTLE off-base, but whatever. This dude don't know me!!
Notice the subject line. He means "poor choice" of WIFE. Enjoy!
Subject: poor choice
Hate to say this, but if your new wife can not find compassion for this absolutely adorable puppy, you may have made a big mistake in choosing a wife!
So what if the other dogs don't take to a puppy right away? I brought a rescue kitten to my home, and all the adult cats hated her at first. Now she plays with them. She is providing stimulation and exercise to the older cats. Thank goodness I didn't give her away!
Just saying, give it some time before trying to give away such an adorable puppy.
If your new wife won't tolerate it, run for the hills! (seriously)
JMO
WTF??????!!!!!!!!!! CRAZY CAT MAN!!!!
And my reply ("From" Matthew):
Subject: RE: poor choice
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 2010 11:18:38 -0700
Woa dude, actually my wife is the most compassionate person I know and also the biggest dog-lover I've ever known. We have two pitbulls and it was just really bad forsight on my part to assume that they wouldn't want to pretty much eat the puppy. We felt that it wouldn't be fair to put the little guy in an environment where he was in danger. My wife has always said our third dog should be a full-grown shelter dog that needs a forever-home, so that is most likely what we'll end up getting one day.
Thanks for the advice though, however unfounded.
Ugggghhhh. Can you believe people?!!! What a poophead! Rather funny though, in hindsight. But I am exhausted from the events of the last 18 hours and think I will go take a long, well-deserved nap now. Have a great Friday!
J
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