I knew it was only a matter of time before I received an ugly comment from an "anonymous" reader - most bloggers seem to get them now and again, so I fully expected to receive one sooner or later. Because when you put your life and thoughts out in public form on a blog, you run that risk. You risk receiving ugly comments from acidic, malignant people who apparently have nothing better to do than read entire blogs from beginning to end and then write the author cruel and scathing comments (or in my case, several very nice and thoughtful comments, and then ONE very mean-spirited one after "anonymous" decided my blog is a crock of shit). I suppose the well seasoned bloggers have developed the ability to let the venom trickle right off, but because I'm new to all this, it actually really bothered me when I received said scathing comment earlier this evening.
And I know I shouldn't even be granting this person the honor of a complete post dedicated entirely to her, but when someone says such mean and off-the-charts outrageous things about me, my husband, and my life, I feel an overpowering urge to defend myself.
First of all, I find it very telling that most people with bitter and vindictive things to say always comment under the veil of "anonymous." The commenter who provides no name or email address with which you can reply and defend yourself. It's no different than a bully attacking a weak, defenseless child. It's cruel, it's uncalled for, and the only thing it might accomplish is the demonstration of just how desperately lacking the spirit of "anonymous" really is. Lacking in character, lacking in kindness, lacking in the ability to communicate functionally with and accept those who may be different than you in some ways.
When I first saw this comment email in my inbox, I was shocked. Then I was furious. Now I'm just sad. That there are really people like this out there in the world. Below I've pasted the comment I received on my post "Down and Dirty, Texas Edition," if any of my readers are interested in looking at it. Those of you who know me in real life will probably find it pretty humorous. And just some background info, she's referring to the post I wrote about beauty and how modesty is beautiful and women shouldn't wear shorts so short you can actually see their butt cheeks. In the post the comment below was left on, I DID include pictures in which I was wearing pretty short shorts. But those pictures were taken at a secluded ranch where I was staying with my husband and parents-in-law, and the pictures I posted were not provocative or revealing whatsoever. In comparison to what many girls wear out and post on the Internet, these photos were rated double G. But if any one disagrees with that, I apologize. I never feel that I am being immodest, but I suppose older generations may have different standards.
Anyway, check out the hatred!! (Click to enlarge)
Click to enlarge
I just have a few brief responses in case this lovely woman decides to drop back by.
1.) I really appreciated the NICE comments you left on some of my other posts (before you decided that my husband is my brother, that I'm desperate for attention and compliments, and that I live a lazy, sad life) - since I had no way of replying to your messages and I'd never received anonymous comments before, I was actually going to leave a message for you in my next post to thank you for taking the time to leave such nice comments. Needless to say, I'm not feeling particularly fond of you anymore.
2) You're right, my husband and I DO look similar. But he is definitely not my brother, and I am posting a few more pictures for you or anyone else who might be concocting similarly ridiculous stories in their minds. Not that there is really any reasoning with someone as mean-spirited and cynical as you.
3) Based on my calculations, you are somewhere in the 60's age bracket (in one comment you said you've been married 43 blissful years, so I assume you were at least 20 when you were married, give or take). I was thrilled that someone your age (initially) found my blog enjoyable, though yours certainly isn't my target age bracket. It IS likely that someone your age might have a different opinion of modesty than someone my age, just due to the generational difference and changes that have take place in society over the past decades. I understand if you feel that even MY clothing is more revealing than it should be, but that gives you no right to belittle and insult me as you have.
4) Ok, seriously? I may not have begun a career yet (haven't even been out of college a year), but that doesn't mean I don't do any work or will never work. Right now I am taking care of our home and, YES, I do have the absolute luxury of not HAVING to work a wage-producing job at this time. For almost 8 years, all throughout high school and college, I worked as a waitress at a family restaurant and supported myself fully while completing a bachelor's degree with a 3.9 GPA. Then I met my husband, and I am taking advantage of the opportunity to explore my passions without worrying about just keeping my head above water as I did for many years. Blogging has been an amazing outlet for me, and I enjoy reaching out to others and also being reached. Do I purposely solicit compliments from people? Of course not. Do people sometimes compliment me in their comments? Of course they do. The blogosphere consists primarily of people who desire to build each other up, not tear each other down. I'm sorry all you were able to glean from others' comments was the absurd assumption that my "ego needs a reality check."
5) What does my using words like "shitty" have to do with anything? I DO curse occasionally, but only for humorous effect or to place extra emphasis. You and many others may not agree with me, but I feel that language and words are completely arbitrary and it is the spirit of how the words are spoken that truly matters. If you can't see that, it may be time to re-evaluate your prioroties and the manner in which you cast judgements upon others.
and finally, 6) every picture I have posted and claimed was my husband is, indeed, the very same man that I am married to, and you are SO SO SO off base for suggesting anything different. Below are a few more pictures of me holding hands with, canoodling with, and marrying the handsome man who is DEFINITELY NOT my brother. I shouldn't even feel the need to post these, but what you said hurt my feelings - which I suppose was what you intended.
And ya'll, never again in the future will I respond this way to a Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous. They truly don't deserve the time or energy it took to write this post. I just have a strong intolerance for cruelty and bullying, and I am not inclined to "lay down and take it."
Hope some of you at least got some amusement out of this. Because at the end of the day, it is all rather laughable. :)
J
0 comments:
Post a Comment