This Tween's Take on Sexy Times in YA Books

This Tween's Take on

Sexy Times in YA Books

One thing all the young adult books I read have in common is sexy times. When I first started reading young adult books, I was ten and my parents very closely monitored what I read. The most sexiness in the books I read were innocent kisses and new-found crushes. If a book unexpectedly veered into something more mature, I would stop reading.

I am twelve now, and things have changed. I have proven to my parents that I am responsible with my reading choices. I am allowed to make my own decisions regarding which books are appropriate and which are not. There are still times when I begin a book and decide part-way-through that it is too mature for me. Just like before, I stop reading when that happens.

You may be surprised, though, by what sort of sexy times I consider to be appropriate. The sweet and innocent things are most obviously okay. This includes things like flirting, kissing, hand holding, and crushes.

The relationship between Anna and St. Clair in Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins is a great example of this sweet and innocent sexiness. These two take their time falling in love and the biggest sexy thing they do is kiss. It’s the “other” things they do that I most enjoyed. A knowing glance and a well-timed touch are all it takes to turn up the heat for Anna and St. Clair. Sarah Dessen’s book, Along for the Ride, has this same feel-good flirty sexiness that I hope I experience someday. And yes, I do believe that this sort of sexy times exists in real life.

What about insta-love? I am not a fan. Who actually falls in love with someone that quickly? WHO? I know who. A character who is lonely, is obsessive, has low self-esteem, or maybe is on the rebound. Whatever the reason, I know perfectly well that relationships should not move to the level of sexy times at lightning fast speed. This is not a race y’all! Lena and Ethan in Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl comes to mind. I really liked this book, but I was put off by how quickly things moved in the sexy times department.

I am also okay with the more intimate sexy times in most of the young adult books I read. This includes things like more intense kissing and more intimate actions. A great example of this would be Jacinda and Will in Firelight by Sophie Jordan. These two have some passionate scenes, and they just seem right for each other. It is like they belong together. I love how they treat each other and I know this is how things should be. Another great example is Clary and Jace in City of Bones. There is no insta-love, they take their time, and their relationship eventually reaches a more intimate level.

But what happens with this same level of sexy times when the relationship is abusive, one of the characters is too forceful, or if there are drugs involved? I will still consider it appropriate to read. But, I am also smart enough to realize that this is not a good situation. I know that this is the sort of relationship and the type of sexy times I never want to be involved in. Betrayal by Lee Nichols has an example of this type of relationship. Bennett is sexually forceful and pretty much a jerk to Emma. There is something to be learned from this one. Another example is Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor. Karou’s ex-boyfriend at the very beginning of the book is such a jerk, pushing himself on her and trying to talk her into sexy times. Just Eww!

Finally, there are some sexy times scenes that are too mature for me. Usually, I just stop reading, but sometimes I like the book too much and I will keep reading anyways. I hate to stop reading a good book because of one or two scenes that are too intense. My example is Switched from the Trylle Trilogy by Amanda Hocking. I really loved this series, but there most definitely were a few scenes that were too mature. There’s really nothing wrong with the scenes, but they are very much aimed at an older reader.

I am so thankful that young adult authors include these sexy times scenes in their stories. It’s real. Even when the characters have paranormal abilities, their relationships and how they approach their sex lives can be very realistic. A nice guy is a nice guy even if he is a vampire. And a jerk is still a jerk even if he is an angel.

It’s not just the guys though. The girls I admire are the ones who are strong and look out for themselves. These are the girls who recognize a jerk when they see one. They don’t get too overly gushy about the hot new boy at school on the day they meet him. These girls take their time. They know what they want. I do not want to be the weak girl I read about who lets herself be taken advantage of. That is not sexy at all. It is maddening.

Are you surprised at all by what I had to say? I know that my opinions about sexy times have changed over the last 18 months that I have been reading and blogging. I still love reading about an innocent crush and those sweetheart boyfriends who are made of awesome. But, I like to read more graphic sexy times now too, as long as they don’t go too far in their maturity.