It may be a little quiet around the ol' blog here this weekend.
Reason being, you ask?
Well, dear readers, I am going to a place with **GASP!** no Internet. A place where exotic wildlife outnumbers human beings fifty to one, where spiders are as big as your fist and centipedes as long as your arm, and where deranged, unprovoked bees burrow into the hair of poor, unsuspecting young females and sting them multiple times in the scalp as husbands frantically try to find something to "grab the bee with" so they don't have to touch it with their hands.
That's a true story. I defied the odds that day. There were eight of us in an open vehicle all admiring a hive ten feet away, and a random bee made a "bee-line" (hahahahahahahahaha) for MY head. Jerk.
For a little perspective, here is what greets you upon entry into the main house:
Don't worry. I'm deeply offended, as well.
And here is what watches over you as you sleep:
Oh God!
But in all honesty, despite the fact that I don't condone shooting animals for sport and trophies, it's ALWAYS a blast down at the ranch. It's great to just ESCAPE for a while, you know? To spend time with family, to be quiet, to see how nature does it. To be reminded that, even in the animal kingdom (or, er, bug kingdom? Is a bee a bug?), sometimes a little shit just comes your way and stings you for no reason. It's life, you get over it.
Though it IS nice to know that little bastard died immediately after insertion of stinger into said head. Ultimately, Jenni wins. Bee looses.
I'm mainly looking forward to the hours I'll spend exploring miles of dry river bed with my awesome mother in law, obsessively scouring the terrain for Indian arrowheads and oohing and aahing about the rocks and fossils we find. Guys, it is the funniest thing. We LOVE rocks. My mother-in-law, Lynne, and I share an unparalleled passion for rocks or, as she calls them, "treasures." But these aren't just any rocks, people. We find crazy, amazing stuff out there. If you knew how many rocks we have between us, you would probably be concerned. Here we were on an arrowhead "dig" we went on together. It was so incredibly fun and we found tons of arrowheads!!
Think that sounds crazy?? Feast your eyes on all the amazing stuff we found!!!
Anyway, I'm getting off topic here. My point was just that I'll be out in po-dunk Texas Friday through Sunday with only an iPhone and iPad, which are slowish and don't read JavaScript and basically won't have time to be blogging because I'll be too busy getting stung by bees and scavenging for awesome rocks and eating s'mores by a fire while being ogled by scary mounted wildebeest heads.
Don't pity me. Just check back soon for a full report of the weekend. :)
J
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