My Weekend with the Wild Things

And I don’t mean my in-laws. 
But Matthew and I DID spend the weekend with his parents at their ranch, and while I was disappointed that there were no spring flowers yet and all plant life was still deader than dead, I managed to snap some fun pictures anyway. 
But first, for purposes of your amusement, I recorded several conversations that Matthew and I had on our long car ride on Friday.  There’s something about being stuck in a car together for long periods of time that seems to evoke some rather humorous intercourse.  And by intercourse, I mean conversation.  Don’t be gross.
***I apologize in advance for Matthew’s reference in conversation #3.  But I don’t apologize that it made me laugh so hard I cried.***

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Jenni (after passing some people flying kites in a field): Have you ever flown a kite?

Matthew: I have.  I had my very own kite when I was a kid.  And it wasn’t a cheap plastic one either.  It was FABRIC. It was blue, red, yellow, and green, and it had a tail.  A long, magnificent tail.

*Long pause*

Jenni: (disdainfully) Well, excuuse me.  Mine was plastic. 

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Jenni: I think I’m going to get a new swimsuit.

Matthew: Yes, a smaller one!

Jenni: No, a one piece.

Matthew: (look of horror)

Jenni: They’re back in, and very cute.

Matthew: Huh.

__________

Jenni: I really miss the bologna and cheese sandwich at Subway.

Matthew: They don’t have it anymore?

Jenni: Nope.  It used to be on the kid’s menu, but not anymore!

Matthew: It’s probably because people started realizing that bologna is ground up assholes.

__________

Sigh.  That man.  I love him though.

Here are some photos from the weekend.  And yes, that’s a real life armadillo.  I had no idea how cute they are, and now I want one of my very own.  Named Mo.  Mo the Armadillo.

And now I’ll be super sad when I see one smooshed on the road.  Poor, poor Mo.

Driving along in the “mule” (ranch vehicle), seein’ what we can see…

I could only imagine what was going through his head when I got this close to him.  Probably something like this: “omg omg omg omg omg omg I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die…”

Then he just hid his little face in his little hole, and it was kind of precious.

Bambi.  Just chillin’.

This goofy guy’s head was covered in alfalfa.  And I didn’t want to mention anything, but his dangly parts are kind of enormous. Just sayin’.

THE END. :)